Breathless at 50

I squeeze the deepest
air from soft lungs to deflame
the final candle.
The true-coming – this year – of
wishes, feels worth fainting for.

8 July 2008

Other possible titles were: "50^th Birthday Cake" or "Birthday Cake at 50". I wld have liked "50 Flames" or "50 Candles", but I didn't have that many! Perhaps I'd be allowed it under poetic license?

I spent ages fiddling with various adjectives for the lungs, and verbs for the extinguishing etc, but in order to fit it into a tanka, this is what I ended up with. There were words I preferred in earlier versions.

Here's all possible versions combined in one (so not a tanka, obviously!):

I squeeze the deepest
air from flabby/empty/emptied lungs to deflame/unflame/blow out/snuff/douse
the final/last candle/light/flame.
The true-coming of wishes –
this year – feels worth fainting for.