Friday, April 25, 2008

3:15am

No sirens, no cars.
I can only hear/All I can hear is birdsong.
So sparkling, so loud.



25 April 2008


More in my "comfort zone"! Needless to say, written in my head when I cldn't sleep cos I was so stressed, and the birdsong was deafening. I spent ages searching for the 2-syllable adjective in the last line. It needed to suggest something beautiful, that didn't imply keeping me awake, so I rejected "piercing", and I finally dozed off, having decided on "soaring", (slight hints of "The Lark Ascending"), but wasn't entirely happy with that, as I wanted something jewel-like. I awoke later, and immediately came up with "sparkling", which is much more what I'm aiming for! I'm also not sure which of the two options to put for the 2nd line, but lean towards the first, as the "only" assonates with the "no"s and the "so"s.

No comments: